Barsexuality is the new black.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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