no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
