I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
