it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
