You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Rumble strips road head = magical
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
