Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
