Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we're making bets on your personal life
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
