with your own penis?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
