My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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