there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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