She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
