walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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