i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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