Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona

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  (404): your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona http://tfl.nu/j0d8
  Replies (24) Good night (813) Bad night (3394)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.

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  (315): The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is. http://tfl.nu/aqok
  Replies (97) Good night (8045) Bad night (1132)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit

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  (551): the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit http://tfl.nu/ma7y
  Replies (45) Good night (9209) Bad night (972)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

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  (413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf
  Replies (78) Good night (6548) Bad night (909)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.

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  (989): I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study. http://tfl.nu/z59m
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (2705)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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  (727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy
  Replies (19) Good night (10969) Bad night (1499)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

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  (219): You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty. http://tfl.nu/gbls
  Replies (5) Good night (2447) Bad night (807)
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  (650): View more from California

  I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.

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  (650): I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage. http://tfl.nu/zawq
  Replies (10) Good night (2589) Bad night (1434)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.

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  (513): Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse. http://tfl.nu/2bnv
  Replies (1) Good night (1072) Bad night (573)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME

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  (706): I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME http://tfl.nu/20fj
  Replies (18) Good night (1630) Bad night (884)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (764)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly

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  (419): Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly http://tfl.nu/y9cp
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

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  (317): Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity http://tfl.nu/wsrq
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (307)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.

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  (724): Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat. http://tfl.nu/36ue
  Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (437)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here

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  (781): Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here http://tfl.nu/be1c
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (265)

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