I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
