she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
