i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018