Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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(619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf

Replies (35) Good night (5819) Bad night (8370)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

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(732): his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening. http://tfl.nu/ib1o

Replies (10) Good night (3097) Bad night (1667)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

(417): View more from Missouri

I can't feel my brain.

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(417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9

Replies (11) Good night (1869) Bad night (4127)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.

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(505): Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car. http://tfl.nu/bc5h

Replies (1) Good night (1734) Bad night (781)
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(618): View more from Illinois

some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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(618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi

Replies (7) Good night (1288) Bad night (966)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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(252): there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone http://tfl.nu/i05p

Replies (6) Good night (2424) Bad night (660)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?

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(815): Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/an2z

Replies (6) Good night (1047) Bad night (1522)
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(818): View more from California

It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.

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(818): It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care. http://tfl.nu/qr5p

Replies (9) Good night (1033) Bad night (1455)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(616): Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son" http://tfl.nu/3jto

Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (678)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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(201): I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl." http://tfl.nu/ji6j

Replies (4) Good night (1915) Bad night (549)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.

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(860): Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves. http://tfl.nu/jaio

Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (323)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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(678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6

Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (531)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

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(407): I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again. http://tfl.nu/tkx0

Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (542)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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(602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx

Replies (9) Good night (1217) Bad night (331)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it

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(843): She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it http://tfl.nu/wpx7

Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (136)

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