Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
