is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize