clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
