Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
