literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
