Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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