its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
