I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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