I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize