also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
