Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
