Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
