I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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