Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize