just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
