Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
