Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
