I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
