you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As shirtless as possible
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
