I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if only i could text you this smell
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
