I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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