2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.