He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
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I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy