We won't sleep together?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.