She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
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I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.