Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
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omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is