If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
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i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.