i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.