Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this beer tastes like vomit already
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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