I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
