Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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