you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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