Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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