Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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