And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
