Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
