So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
