He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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