I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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