I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
