dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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