Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
