problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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