put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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