I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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