$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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