i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
