Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Randomize
